hey guys, mind critiquing some lyrics i wrote? orz

Breathing bolls turned cottonesque
Floating away on a midwinter breeze
Slapping cheeks raw and sucking lungs dry
Lest you find the words to give it another try

It escapes you, life evades you
Yet awaiting your debut
Your skeleton crystallized
Even soul liquefied

Winter is a cruel mistress
Licking spirit like flames rising into the sky
Winter is a bitter mistress
Ambitions stolen and lips pulled awry

To strive for perfection
Arms swinging, legs dashing breathlessly
A promise of demise you elect

Winter is a cruel mistress
Licking spirit like flames rising into the sky
Winter is a bitter mistress
Ambitions stolen and lips pulled awry

My dear, please let your soul rest, and cry
Lest your unshed tears frost over blinded eyes