hey guys, mind critiquing some lyrics i wrote? orz
Breathing bolls turned cottonesque
Floating away on a midwinter breeze
Slapping cheeks raw and sucking lungs dry
Lest you find the words to give it another try
It escapes you, life evades you
Yet awaiting your debut
Your skeleton crystallized
Even soul liquefied
Winter is a cruel mistress
Licking spirit like flames rising into the sky
Winter is a bitter mistress
Ambitions stolen and lips pulled awry
To strive for perfection
Arms swinging, legs dashing breathlessly
A promise of demise you elect
Winter is a cruel mistress
Licking spirit like flames rising into the sky
Winter is a bitter mistress
Ambitions stolen and lips pulled awry
My dear, please let your soul rest, and cry
Lest your unshed tears frost over blinded eyes
heavensdollのコメント： they look really good poetically !! personally my strength with lyrics is in adjusting stresses so without the rhythm to go with them (its p unclear just from reading) that’s pretty much all i have to offer \ ^ /
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